I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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