so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
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I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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