the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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