just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
