My first STD was from a foam party
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
