Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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