threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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