my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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