With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
