Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
