Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
