Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
