yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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