Farmville is her only friend.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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