How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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