I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
