How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
