I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize