I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
