someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
