escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
