Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize