Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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