god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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