I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
