What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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