I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
