She's JV to your varsity
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
