a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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