just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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