I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
