sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
