That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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