I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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