You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
