I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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