Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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