life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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