there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
