im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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