Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The Olympian is in my bed
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
