just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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