I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
