We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
