dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
