dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
