Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
