I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
