im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
