ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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