So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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