My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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