My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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