Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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