why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
