My pussy is not your playground.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
