We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
