You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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