I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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