whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
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the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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