I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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