i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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